My Life's New Philosophy

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both,

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth

                                 -Robert Frost

Sometimes I feel like I am the road of life, bent and twisted to conform to other people’s ideas of what I should be and where I should go, but today I awake as the traveler.  I will chose the branch I wish to journey down, or if I would want to stay on the road at all. Maybe it’s time to step off the path and carve a new trail.

If you came to believe, midway through your life, that it was the only one you had, what would you change?  No afterlife. No eternal worship or pain. Just what you have now and what you dream of for the future.  Would you have kids to carry on your line? Would you stay in the small town where you grow up or move to the big city of your dreams?   Would you live around the people that you have always known or go into the world and meet someone new?  Would you keep the job you have to drag yourself to everyday or would you begin the career or lifestyle that you always wanted? 

Who sends monsters to kill your dreams…

And at the same time sings that you'll never die?

Who teaches you what's real…

And how to laugh at lies?

Who decides why you live…

And what you'll die to defend?

Who chained you to the wall…

And who holds the keys to set you free?

The answer is YOU.

When these questions, and many others, started to roll through my mind I passed them off as broad sweeping metaphysical questions for society.  As time went on and my thoughts and beliefs shifted from a desire to become religious to a more humble look at the world around me, I began to understand that the questions were not meant to be thought experiments but guidelines to a life’s true existence.  I hesitate to say guidelines and there will never be rules by which to live, only questions that need an honest answer.  I came to realize that these questions were asked of me every day and every day I gave my answer. 

We all do, consciously or subconsciously.

Recently, when I asked myself these questions, I realized that the life I was living was not what I wanted, and more than that, it wasn’t much of a life at all.  Work was ok, but not fulfilling because it wasn’t going anywhere professionally or financially.  Home life was nearly nonexistent during the week because of my working hours, but our time together was again less than rewarding.  And that was it, working for no reason and a home life that was nothing but conflicts.  Admittedly, every relationship or family is a two way street and I am just as to blame for our time and troubles as anyone else would be.

So what happens when you recognize that the reactions you have been giving subconsciously aren’t leading to the path you wanted?  Well, the only option is to start making different choices.  This is where we separate the strong from the weak.  A weak person won’t rock the boat.  They will make easy choices and subtle changes but never really get to where they want to be.   On the other hand, a strong person will make the changes they need to, no matter what.  Some would consider this selfish and it could be.  But why would you stay in a place that was tearing you down.  It isn’t selfish to change a bad situation. It is self-preservation.  Besides, it wouldn’t be fair to stay where you’re not wanted.  It is unjust for everyone involved.  It is a simple question.  Do you enjoy the company of the people your with and do they enjoy your companionship?  If the answer to both of those questions is no, then this is a problem with a simple solution.

But like Nietzsche said – “…Who is it really that puts questions to us here?  What really is this Will to Truth in us... …And, perhaps incredibly, it at last seems to us as if the problem had never been propounded before, as if we were the first to discern it, get a sight of it, and risk raising it…”

We view and judge the people around us as normal if they answer societies questions “correctly”.  Kids, marriage, and suburbia are how we, as an American culture, determine if someone is safe, and while we ask these questions, who is supplying the answers?  Are you forming your own life around our nation’s idea of what is right?  Now, I make those choices consciously and I live what feels right for me.  It is a problem of group think.  It is what Nietzsche described as the herd mentality.  His idea of a superman, in its simplest form, is someone who rises above the herd.  Think George Carlin, a man who elevates to the expectation of life, not the social order.

I am amazed at my ability to identify incredible concepts from my studies.  I am learning new ideas everyday and I am learning that my ideas are not new, and I find it distressing to know that most people in this world will never care about these important ideas.  But it brings me hope that I am able to discover the same thoughts as the thinkers before me, and someday I will have the original thought that will set me apart.

But do you ever feel locked into the constructs of society?

We were born into a certain system of valuation, one thing is 
good, another thing is wrong, and few ever question it.  I 
chose to no longer give that system control over my mind.  I 
will not surrender my life to the social needs of our culture.  I am awake now and it has become simple for me to see the social, political, and institutional controls that others place on me. 

Truths I have learned

“Know thyself”

“I will it”

“Karma is duty to one’s self”

“Chaos is balance”

“Alpha and Omega are the same, the journey between them 

is what’s important”

“When you have the power to do anything, then the only 

roadblock is yourself.”

“One has to be suspicious of all demands for blind control 

over you.”

In the end, all the difficulties of life have solutions and we make the choices with or without a thought process behind it.  Sometimes life is easy and so are the decisions. Other times, tough decisions lead to major psychological shifts and hurt feelings but the inklings of the ancients ring truth in my ears.

So now I stand in the morning light at the mouth of My cave and I realize I can never go back.  The darkness that lays just a few steps behind My feet, I now know, was for My protection.  It was a necessity for our society to function and I cannot return to the safety of the shackles that held Me to My wall.  But the truth is a comfort, because it removes the yoke, the bridle, and the onus from my shoulders.  I cannot forget the truth of what I have learned about the shadows on that distant rampart.

This new world is not a test of My faith.  This new existence is not a trail to be passed with a promise of eternal fire or light; and as I stand in this light anew, I know that it will not be a guiding light and there is no path that leads out from the mouth of this place because it was Mine alone.  Instead, this light shows Me the true nature of the world.  I now see what is wrong with the world around Me.  I look out over the valley and I fear no evil because genuine evil lies within the darkness of the cave.  It resides within the hearts of those who would slaughter others for their own salvation. It is in the minds of those who hold scripture higher than true love. 

I see that the shadows of the cave have given Me these notions of truth and not everything I witnessed was a lie.  These must have been the seeds that grew inside of Me; and the twilight within Me nourished this fruit until the chains of darkness could no longer hold Me to that wall.  Now I am free.  I have true freedom for My existence.  I am not beholden to anyone.  I do things not because I fear for my soul but because they are good to do.  I am kind because I am kind. I help others because they need My help.  I show Myself to the world and I accept how the world sees Me …

I will have fewer plans waiting to happen and just start doing what I want.  My journey up until this point has been about control but it is time to unleash some chaos.  It is time to introduce a little anarchy and upset the established order.